How I Overcame a 20+ Year Fear of Flying - By Understanding Fear Instead of Fighting It
My fear of flying started when I was 12 years old.
I was on a plane that had to turn back on the runway due to a technical issue.
Nothing dramatic happened but something registered deeply in my nervous system.
From that moment on, flying stopped feeling neutral.
It felt unsafe.
For years, I avoided planes whenever I could.
I limited travel without fully admitting why.
And when flying was unavoidable, I paid for it emotionally.
Every flight triggered intense anxiety.
My heart raced.
My body tensed.
My thoughts spiraled into worst-case scenarios.
By the time the plane landed, I was completely drained
not from the flight, but from fighting myself the entire way.
I tried everything people usually recommend.
Meditation.
Distraction.
Music.
Movies.
Breathing exercises.
Even drinks to “take the edge off.”
Nothing worked long-term.
Because I was trying to stop the fear.
Fear of Flying
What Actually Changed Everything
What helped wasn’t willpower.
It wasn’t positive thinking.
And it wasn’t trying to stay calm.
Two things changed everything for me.
The first was understanding.
I didn’t settle for surface-level reassurance about flying.
I went deep I spent weeks learning
I learned-
How airplanes actually fly.
How lift works.
How turbulence behaves.
How systems are designed with layers of redundancy.
What pilots are trained to handle and how rarely true emergencies occur.
Not abstract facts.
Real, technical understanding.
That knowledge gave my mind something solid to stand on.
But knowledge alone wasn’t enough.
The second and most important shift was allowance.
Before one flight, I made a clear decision:
I would stop trying to get rid of the fear.
Instead, I allowed it to be part of the experience.
I let my body feel nervous.
I let the sensations move through me.
I stopped arguing with myself.
And something unexpected happened.
The moment I stopped resisting the fear, its intensity dropped.
The intrusive thoughts quieted.
The mental catastrophizing stopped.
Fear didn’t disappear.
But it no longer escalated.
When Fear Isn’t the Enemy
As I practiced this flight after flight my nervous system began to change.
I wasn’t fighting myself anymore.
I wasn’t trying to “fix” my internal experience.
I was present with it.
My nervousness decreased.
My confidence grew.
Trust replaced tension.
The peace I felt when I stopped resisting was profound.
Grounded.
Stabilizing.
Eventually, something I never thought possible happened:
I started looking forward to flying.
Not because fear vanished
but because it no longer controlled me.
What Fear Taught Me
Fear doesn’t need to be eliminated.
It needs to be understood and allowed.
Understanding gave my mind safety.
Allowance gave my body relief.
Together, they changed everything.
That lesson didn’t just transform how I travel.
It changed how I relate to fear in every area of life.
Fear will always show up when we step into the unknown.
The work isn’t to stop it.
The work is to stop fighting ourselves when it does.
That’s where freedom lives.
If you’re ready to break old patterns and create real change, book a call with me. Let’s explore what’s holding you back and decide your next step- together.
